Plank steals Mungo's bike

It was known in the village that Plank was going through a phase of stealing bikes. His defense, when challenged, was something like socialism and sharing and he would get quite belligerent when it was suggested that he might return the bike to its owner at some point, when he was quite finished using it.

Plank was thick, as I have stated already, but you're probably beginning to see how thick now that you've heard that he actually stole Mungo's bike. Plank was so thick that he didn't know not to touch Mungo's stuff, something that we all kept very uppermost in our minds at all times when Mungo was around.

It was well known that Mungo would punch a fellow to the ground simply for looking towards him in the wrong way, or not looking towards him, or wearing the wrong type of shoes or having the wrong haircut - let alone STEAL HIS BIKE! But Plank was innocent of this knowledge.

Perhaps it was because Plank was a fairly big fellow and a bit older than us so he felt no physical fear, but he was slow and weak and all show and bluster.

Mungo was very mean and he loved nothing better than to batter many people very hard after drinking a lot of lager. He was the leader of the local skinheads chapter, and they liked to batter people like me sometimes because I was a hippy and had objectively ridiculous hair and clothes and more money than sense, although battering hippies wasn't considered good sport because they were mainly too weedy to really count it as a victory.

Nashy was a sort of hippy too, but he looked odd, with his ginger hair parted down the middle, and he had a frank and open way of addressing people that seemed to put them off their guard.

Nashy once even had a friendly chat with Mungo and when I heard him relate it I realised that the fellow was human, although still dangerous. Here's the chat as I recall it:

Mungo:

- My room, t'ai a f*kn square and t'ai a f*kn oblong... it's a f*kn "L" shape, see?

Nashy:

- Cool

Mungo:

It's a f*kn "L" shape, my room.

It's not much to go on, but I often wonder what Mungo's "L" shaped room was like, and what he'd got up on the walls and wotnot.

Also, to give him his due, although I deplore violence, the attempt to knock some sense into the hippies is not without merit in my view, although I'm looking back on the situation from the comfort of my living room, rather than extricating hot chips from my clothing, where they have been stuffed, or, in the far more serious case of a fellow I knew, who was very girly indeed and always spoke in blank verse with extremely difficult words and had no time for the common herd whatsoever, getting rushed to hospital after suffering a knife wound to the torso, delivered for the simple offence of being annoying (which he was, in spades).

Anyway, returning to Plank. The funny thing about his stealing was that his mother was always rushing around behind his back and paying for the damage to keep him out of trouble. She would return bikes she found in the shed and pay for new lights and such sweeteners, although Plank never found out about that as far as we knew.

Mungo's was the last bike Plank stole. I heard that when Mungo confronts him about the matter Plank discovers that Mungo has no love for socialism and sharing but is extremely accomplished at banging people's heads against the wall, which he proceeds to do with Plank's head so many times everyone think's he's gone too far, but Plank's head is plenty thick so he gamely staggers up and somehow makes it home. 

He missed about a week of college and Priscilla, who was in the same course as him, told us that he'd said his mother had tried to kill him by pushing him downstairs, or some such cock and bull story (of course Prissy knows Mungo and knows precisely why Plank's head was bandaged but doesn't care to bring the matter up because Mungo has already started hanging out with her sister by this time).