Thank you for your kind attention
I know you are busy getting settled in to my new house in various nooks and crannies and making yourselves comfortable.
I also know you are mentioned in Scripture in the book of Proverbs:
"The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings' palaces"
But I am not a king
You also make an appearance in the book of Isaiah:
"They hatch cockatrice' eggs, and weave the spider's web"
speaking about deceitful and vain folks, so your web is a metaphor, perhaps, for intrigue.
and in Job
"Whose hope shall be cut off, and whose trust shall be a spider's web"
meaning, I suppose, that your web is easily broken (and it is - see under)
Now therefore, since you are in the Bible, like me (seven times in my case, beginning with First Samuel: "Now there was no smith found throughout all the land of Israel: for the Philistines said, Lest the Hebrews make them swords and spears"), I must afford you due consideration.
However, while you might be thinking that I am the sort of person who says "Ooh I never kill spiders! I just put them in a jam jar and then leave them in the garden." Or one of those persons who thinks that because a spider inspired Scottish king and local hero Robert the Bruce to redouble his efforts in fighting against the English in the 1300s, then I will be eternally grateful to you and adopt a tolerant attitude in relation to your construction initiatives and lurking behaviours... I am actually a person of an entirely different kind (the Scriptural reference to swords and spears might give you a hint).
Although I take no (not much) pleasure in destroying your habitats, eggs, and tribal members, I feel duty bound to proceed in that direction if I see you and manage to intercept you before you run into an inaccessible place.
So, please behave with discretion and keep a very low profile. And, to be clear, building your webs in the corners of my nice new magenta coloured walls and white ceilings is not acceptable. I will see you, and immediately introduce you to my new and powerful vacuum cleaner.
Yours faithfully
Smith (English)
I know you are busy getting settled in to my new house in various nooks and crannies and making yourselves comfortable.
I also know you are mentioned in Scripture in the book of Proverbs:
"The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings' palaces"
But I am not a king
You also make an appearance in the book of Isaiah:
"They hatch cockatrice' eggs, and weave the spider's web"
speaking about deceitful and vain folks, so your web is a metaphor, perhaps, for intrigue.
and in Job
"Whose hope shall be cut off, and whose trust shall be a spider's web"
meaning, I suppose, that your web is easily broken (and it is - see under)
Now therefore, since you are in the Bible, like me (seven times in my case, beginning with First Samuel: "Now there was no smith found throughout all the land of Israel: for the Philistines said, Lest the Hebrews make them swords and spears"), I must afford you due consideration.
However, while you might be thinking that I am the sort of person who says "Ooh I never kill spiders! I just put them in a jam jar and then leave them in the garden." Or one of those persons who thinks that because a spider inspired Scottish king and local hero Robert the Bruce to redouble his efforts in fighting against the English in the 1300s, then I will be eternally grateful to you and adopt a tolerant attitude in relation to your construction initiatives and lurking behaviours... I am actually a person of an entirely different kind (the Scriptural reference to swords and spears might give you a hint).
Although I take no (not much) pleasure in destroying your habitats, eggs, and tribal members, I feel duty bound to proceed in that direction if I see you and manage to intercept you before you run into an inaccessible place.
So, please behave with discretion and keep a very low profile. And, to be clear, building your webs in the corners of my nice new magenta coloured walls and white ceilings is not acceptable. I will see you, and immediately introduce you to my new and powerful vacuum cleaner.
Yours faithfully
Smith (English)
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